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Window of Tolerance 101

Kayla Johnson
Window of tolerance, trauma processing

Navigating Trauma with Compassion

Finding Safety in Vulnerability

So much of the safety that is integral in therapy, especially for those of us with trauma histories, lives in the complex balance of security in the present moment and entering into vulnerability (painful emotion). Knowing this, it’s important to develop coping and grounding skills for withstanding the pain. At times, skill development feels frustrating (I know I have, on a number of occasions, balked at having to develop skills to cope with pain I did not ask for).

Strengthening Coping Strategies

Widening the Window of Tolerance

The more adept we become at coping with distress, the more we strengthen our ability to experience the here-and-now sense of safety in therapy as we face our pain.
When your therapist helps you ground, develop coping skills, notice the present moment, etc., they are helping you widen what we call the ‘Window of Tolerance.’ Maximum therapeutic benefit in an appointment with your counselor (or in coping outside session) happens when you are able to maintain awareness of the both/and of pain and safety.

Practical Applications

Everyday Examples of Staying Within the Window

Remaining inside your window of tolerance doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions. It means we minimize the distress that occurs when a painful emotion is present. Essentially, existing within that window means you can experience sadness, fear, or anger without triggering a survival (fight/flight/freeze) response. If you have ever become frustrated with a distracted driver while maintaining your ability to focus on the road, become upset with a partner and took space away to process emotions before resolving conflict, or made a mistake on a project and were able to reframe negative thoughts about yourself – You have remained within your window.

Reflections on Progress

Becoming a Harbor of Safety

Progress in therapy does not mean something isn’t sad or scary over time. It means you become your own harbor of safety and remain compassionate and present with yourself as you heal. Safety is not always necessarily the absence of danger; safety is your ability to connect with yourself, your support system, or your coping skills when danger is present.

Window of Tolerance

The Balance of Safety and Vulnerability in Therapy

In therapy, especially for those with trauma histories, safety is a delicate balance between feeling secure in the present moment and being open to vulnerability. This balance is crucial for healing and growth.

Developing Coping and Grounding Skills

Developing coping and grounding skills is essential for managing painful emotions. Although it can be frustrating to build these skills, they are vital for maintaining a sense of safety and stability during therapy.

Expanding the Window of Tolerance

When your therapist helps you ground yourself, develop coping skills, and stay present, they are helping you expand your Window of Tolerance. This allows you to experience emotions without triggering a survival response, enabling you to process and heal more effectively.

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