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Window of Tolerance 101

Window of Tolerance 101

by | PTSD, Trauma, Trauma / PTSD

Navigating Trauma with Compassion

Finding Safety in Vulnerability

So much of the safety that is integral in therapy, especially for those of us with trauma histories, lives in the complex balance of security in the present moment and entering into vulnerability (painful emotion). Knowing this, it’s important to develop coping and grounding skills for withstanding the pain. At times, skill development feels frustrating (I know I have, on a number of occasions, balked at having to develop skills to cope with pain I did not ask for).

Strengthening Coping Strategies

Widening the Window of Tolerance

The more adept we become at coping with distress, the more we strengthen our ability to experience the here-and-now sense of safety in therapy as we face our pain.
When your therapist helps you ground, develop coping skills, notice the present moment, etc., they are helping you widen what we call the ‘Window of Tolerance.’ Maximum therapeutic benefit in an appointment with your counselor (or in coping outside session) happens when you are able to maintain awareness of the both/and of pain and safety.

Practical Applications

Everyday Examples of Staying Within the Window

Remaining inside your window of tolerance doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions. It means we minimize the distress that occurs when a painful emotion is present. Essentially, existing within that window means you can experience sadness, fear, or anger without triggering a survival (fight/flight/freeze) response. If you have ever become frustrated with a distracted driver while maintaining your ability to focus on the road, become upset with a partner and took space away to process emotions before resolving conflict, or made a mistake on a project and were able to reframe negative thoughts about yourself – You have remained within your window.

Reflections on Progress

Becoming a Harbor of Safety

Progress in therapy does not mean something isn’t sad or scary over time. It means you become your own harbor of safety and remain compassionate and present with yourself as you heal. Safety is not always necessarily the absence of danger; safety is your ability to connect with yourself, your support system, or your coping skills when danger is present.

Window of Tolerance

The Balance of Safety and Vulnerability in Therapy

In therapy, especially for those with trauma histories, safety is a delicate balance between feeling secure in the present moment and being open to vulnerability. This balance is crucial for healing and growth.

Developing Coping and Grounding Skills

Developing coping and grounding skills is essential for managing painful emotions. Although it can be frustrating to build these skills, they are vital for maintaining a sense of safety and stability during therapy.

Expanding the Window of Tolerance

When your therapist helps you ground yourself, develop coping skills, and stay present, they are helping you expand your Window of Tolerance. This allows you to experience emotions without triggering a survival response, enabling you to process and heal more effectively.

Window of Tolerance 101

Window of Tolerance 101

by | Aug 15, 2024 | , ,

So much of the safety that is integral in therapy, especially for those of us with trauma histories, lives in the complex balance of security in the present moment and entering into vulnerability (painful emotion). Knowing this, it's important to develop coping and...

The Power of Community in Trauma Survivorship

The Power of Community in Trauma Survivorship

by | PTSD, Trauma, Trauma / PTSD

sistent across human history has been the importance of community. Safety in numbers against a predator, the sharing of resources, or simply holding space for one another are all integral to our survival. Yet, largely, our individualistic culture places emphasis on autonomy and independence. Self-care is a term used often within the context of therapy and trauma healing – and self-care is a necessary step – but often we are encouraged to lean into individual healing practices when what we need is to be reminded that we belong in the world around us.
 
 
Oftentimes we walk away from a traumatic experience with more barriers to accessing ourselves than ever before. We learn to mistrust ourselves and/or those around us; shame and guilt become the forefront of our self-talk; our emotions feel too dangerous to foray into. It is confusing to be told to access self for care when, commonly, self is difficult to find internally. Research tells us that connection to others leads to positive outcomes for trauma survivors (Goodman, Dutton, Vankos, & Weinfurt, 2005), and it tells us that even brief interactions with the world around (waving hello, for example) us are reliable mood-boosters (Santos, 2023).
 
So what does community care look like, and how can we engage in this type of inter-dependence on one another?
 

Community care at the micro level:

 

  1. Saying hello to a neighbor
  2. Meal prepping/cooking with a loved one
  3. Texting a friend
  4. Carpooling with a friend or colleague
  5. Checking in with your loved ones

 

Community care at the macro level:

 

  1. Participating in a community garden
  2. Community clothing swaps
  3. Group therapy spaces for processing and healing
  4. Volunteering for a cause you care about
  5. Community book clubs
  6. Participating in social activism

  

A reminder, too, that community care works when you receive care alongside providing it. Trauma recovery makes it difficult to remember that you, as much as your neighbor, are part of this community. Not every type of community care will be a fit for you, and that’s okay. Wherever you land, you are not alone. Healing takes place in the company of those who see and are seen by you.
Window of Tolerance 101

Window of Tolerance 101

by | Aug 15, 2024 | , ,

So much of the safety that is integral in therapy, especially for those of us with trauma histories, lives in the complex balance of security in the present moment and entering into vulnerability (painful emotion). Knowing this, it's important to develop coping and...