If you have been in therapy before or are currently looking for a counselor, know you are not alone if it feels like an intimidating process. The therapy world comes with many acronyms (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, etc.) and it can be daunting to identify what it is you look for in a therapist. Research over the past 50 years has shown that the quality of the relationship between therapist and client, known as the ‘therapeutic alliance’, is the strongest predictor of successful outcomes in treatment. Given the importance of the therapeutic alliance, it is important that you feel seen, heard, and respected by any clinician you work with.
When meeting with a therapist, whether entering treatment or after care is established, you reserve the right to ask questions. Here are some you might ask to help yourself identify if they are a good fit for you:
- Do you have experience providing therapy to people with similar issues as mine?
- What are the different therapy approaches you practice, and which do you think will work best in our work together?
- How do you collaborate with your clients throughout the therapy process?
- How do you collaborate with other treatment team members (medication providers, case managers, etc.) when appropriate?
- Which types of coping skills do you normally help your clients learn and practice?
- How do you measure progress?
- What can I do if I feel the treatment isn’t working for me?
- How will I know when to stop or pause therapy if I am doing well?
- What is your training (what certifications or degrees do you hold)?
- Based on what you know about me so far, do you believe we’re a good fit? Why or why not?
Asking your therapist questions about their work to ensure goodness of fit empowers you to make an informed choice about your mental health needs. Not only does this help you decide if a therapist is right for you, you are already taking a step toward autonomy and practicing empowerment. What matters most in your mental healthcare is ensuring you feel seen and heard.
Some self-reflection in identifying if your therapist is a good fit:
- Do I feel respected by my therapist?
- Do I resonate with my therapist’s approach to treatment?
- Does my therapist listen attentively to me?
- Do I feel validated by my therapist?
- Is my therapist transparent with me about their treatment approach, and do I understand it?
- Does my therapist check in with me about progress and my experiences in treatment?
- Is my therapist an ally to me?
- Is my therapist open to my feedback about what works and what doesn’t?
- Is my therapist a safe person for all pieces of my identity?
- How am I feeling about working with my therapist so far?
Remember, you are the expert in how you feel. Check in with yourself often about what is going well, and what is not as helpful, as you progress in therapy.
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